How & Why

I'm not sure how and why i get myself into certain situations. I never listen to anyone and always feel as though I know more than anyone. I have been in more trouble than one person could ever imagine, and still feel as though I'm able to make the right decisions. I have to say, I do make better decisions than I used to, however I still have a lot to learn. I had a major gambling problem and completely destroyed my credit, yet I feel as though I can go to a casino and have discpline....yeah right.....
My last boyfriend was a degenerate gambler who put met through hell, yet we're still friends, despite what anyone tells me. My new and current boyfriend has more baggage than an American Airlines flight, and I think this is perfectly normal (even though I know it's not). Every red flag was raised before I got involved with this guy, and I had every opportunity run as fast as I could, but instead I moved in with him. HELLO...... What attracts me to these people? Why is it that I'm so attracted to these types of people. It's like I search for them. How in the world does my mind justify this? Now I'm stuck in a situation that I don't kno how to get out of. I just bought all brand new furniture, we re modeled an entire apartment and it's gorgeous and I'm miserable. He is very good to me and I know he loves me, yet I'm never happy. I think I'm impossible to please. I must be a therpists dream. Although my therpist doesn't think so, I think he thinks I'm crazy. Then again, crazy keeps him in business. Well, these are the things going through my head at the moment. Peace, Love, & Happiness -J